She is Here.

Remember when I used to update this blog? Yeah, me neither.

A lot has happened in the last few weeks. And if any of you still read my blog who aren't my friends in real life or on Instagram, (do any of you still exist?!) I'd like to introduce you to the cutest little bird of a baby that ever graced the earth.

Hazel June.

She came to live with our family on March 20th. Little girl was stubborn and wanted to hang out till the end butt first just like her momma, so our "birth story" happened on an operating table instead of in a labor suite, but I would still love to share it with you. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow, if I'm not to busy cuddling my precious little gumdrop.

A very long story for you about a simple chair and God's provision

Last night while working on the nursery this conversation happened:

Me: "I really wish I could just find a glider or rocker that I really like. Too bad they all cost like $600"

Jake: "Let's pray for one."

Me: "Well it's not like we can't afford one, and it's just me being particular. There are a million normal gliders on Craigslist for like $30."

Jake: "Well, I'm still going to ask for one."

Me: "You're crazy if you think you are going to find an upholstered rocker for like $30"

Jake: "Well I'm still going to pray for one."

Can you see where this is going? 

This morning I did my daily search for the perfect upholstered rocker or glider. Well, one popped up for THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS! I frantically figured out a way to go pick it up before 6 (when the owner had another person coming to look at it), loaded it up in our car all alone and drove it home .... terribly excited, a bit shocked by God's generosity and very very thankful. Well, when I got it home my heart sank. When we put it in the nursery it was so slanted that you almost fell forward out of the chair while sitting in it. Not really the most comfortable spot for rocking your sweet baby girl.  Clearly I had purchased a bum chair. 

I wondered why God would provide something so very specific just for it to be a huge big fail. I sat in the living room and felt discouraged, and to be honest, super over emotional. I had been so excited, and now I was so let down.

Jake disappeared for awhile and I found him upstairs with the whole chair disassembled. Turns out the entire chair was assembled incorrectly. He fixed it, and the chair worked just as it was intended.

Needless to say I learned a lot. I learned that God can and will answer small and silly-seeming prayers to increase our faith. I learned that doubting His specific provision convicted me of my very limited belief in His willingness to provide. And, I learned to trust my husband a bit more. I shouldn't think it is crazy to ask God for what seems impossible. I realize that God will not give us every silly material thing we want, but He will use small situations to reveal large truths. He is capable, generous, and a perfect provider.

The chair isn't perfect. It needs a really good washing or a new cover, but I love it. Not just because it fits perfectly in our nursery, but because it reminds me that we serve a loving, generous, and present God who delights in teaching His children about His character.

Goodbye Second Trimester!

 Dear little Hazel, 

Well it's quite simply near impossible to believe that your second trimester in my belly is here and gone. In fact, we are 29 weeks into this thing together as of today. How CRAZY is that? I'm sure I won't be saying this in a month or two, but carrying you along with me has been fairly simple and very very very quick. However, I must say I feel a bit like a big ol' boat as you grow and grow and grow. You are two pounds already! You used to be a tiny poppy seed and now you are over two whole pounds! I got to see you on camera recently, and you know what? You formed your hands into fists, stretched your head way way far back and STUCK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME! It seems that you are going to turn out just as silly as your mommy and daddy.

Suddenly I'm tired again, but not as sleepy as when you were first growing. Sleeping is getting a bit more difficult, but I'm just thinking of it as training for when you are here and we're having late night feeding and crying "parties". I've become a bit consumed with preparing for your arrival. Your nursery is coming along quite nicely. I really hope you find it cozy and cute. You have all sorts of gear now and lots of adorable little outfits. I'm even working on making you some cute accessories. 

Most of all lately, though, I've been scared, worried, and generally just terrified (to be honest) of becoming your mom. Will I know how to care for you? Will we bond ok? Will feeding go well? How on earth will I know what to do for you? Then, I remember that women have been doing this for centuries, and I keep thinking of the hymn from Sandra McCracken that says: 

To thee I run now with great expectation,

to honor you with trust like a child

My hopes and desires seek a new destination

and all that you ask, your grace will provide.

I am very certain that God has called me to be your Mom. He chose the time you'd come to be a part of our lives, and I hope you learn the hard way one day (as to increase your faith) that his timing is PERFECT. He has called me to be your mother, and all that He asks of me His grace will provide. You, little Hazel, are already teaching me what it means to lean more into my heavenly father. I am learning to trust Him in ways I didn't know I needed to trust before.  Thank you for teaching me so much already.

Sweet daughter of mine, I'm praying for you. I pray that you will know and love Christ. That you will learn what it means to be fully dependent on, and in desperate need of, your Savior. I pray that you will be humbled over and over and over again by the good news of the Gospel. It's a prayer I not only say, but plead and feel deep within my bones.

It's hard to believe at the end of our next trimester together you will be in our arms. I can't wait to meet you, see you, touch your face and rejoice over you, Hazel. I love you.

Until then, 

Mom

 

I meant to send out Christmas cards.

I had every good intention of sending out Christmas cards. I even designed the thing for goodness sake. But all of a sudden it is somehow December 17th, and holiday celebrations start this weekend. The idea of rush printing, addressing and sending out these cards all while prepping for Christmas travel, celebrations, and a new baby just seemed impossible. Maybe I'll just print one for our scrapbook I'll probably never start :)

So please forgive me dear friends and family. We wont be gracing your fridge or adorable Pinterest-inspired card holder this year. However, I do love all of you very much, and figured this would be as good of a way as any to "send" you your Christmas card. 

I hope your last minute preparations are filled with joy and absent of stress and that you feel in your bones the hope Christmas brings in the assurance of our salvation in Christ.

A Hymn Of Comfort

On a day like today, and any day really, hymns are an incredible resource for helping us form words we can not muster up on our own, confess our doubt and sorrow, and hear truth when we can not find it. I feel indebted to the authors of hymns from across the ages, thankful that we get to learn from their struggle and join in singing with them years later about the pain and tension of walking with Christ in a broken world. Praise choruses are good, but singing deeply and specifically about pain, doubt, mourning and joy are in some way much more helpful and meaningful to me. 

You can listen to this hymn I've had on repeat today here.

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
Hear what Christ the Savior says.
Every word should joy impart,
Change thy mourning into praise.
Yes, he speaks, and speaks to thee,
May he help thee to believe!
Then thou presently wilt see,
Thou hast little cause to grieve.
 
"Fear thou not, nor be ashamed,
All thy sorrows soon shall end.
I who heaven and earth have framed,
Am thy husband and thy friend.
I the High and Holy One,
Israel's GOD by all adored,
As thy Savior will be known,
Thy Redeemer and thy Lord.”
 
“For a moment I withdrew,
And thy heart was filled with pain,
But my mercies I'll renew,
Thou shalt soon rejoice again.
Though I scorn to hide my face,
Very soon my wrath shall cease.
‘Tis but for a moment's space,
Ending in eternal peace.”
 
“When my peaceful bow appears,
Painted on the watery cloud,
'Tis to dissipate thy fears,
Lest the earth should be overflowed.
'Tis an emblem too of grace,
Of my covenant love a sign.
Though the mountains leave their place,
Thou shalt be forever mine.
 
Though afflicted, tempest-tossed,
Comfortless awhile thou art,
Do not think thou canst be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart.
All thy walls I will repair,
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew,
And in thee it shall appear,
What a God of love can do.

My Cookbook Wishlist

Cooking is one of my favorite past-times, although I'm sad to say a joy for cooking has been replaced lately with a joy for TV and my bed. I hate to say it, but it's true. I've had cereal or microwave Trader Joe's meals more times than I want to admit lately. I really do miss cooking, and there is nothing like a new cookbook to thumb through to provide inspiration in a way Pinterst can never give. There is a wealth of wonderful cookbook releases this year and i would love to get my hands on any of them. Any of these would make great Christmas gifts for your favorite foodie.

My Cookbook Wishlist: 
1. Bouchon Bakery - Thomas Keller 2. The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook - Deb Perelman 
3. Dinner a Love Story - Jenny Rosenstrach 4. Ad Hoc at Home - Thomas Keller (not a new release, but I've wanted it for years.) 5. The Sprouted Kitchen - Sara Forte 6. HOMEMADE Winter - Yvette Van Boven

Thanks for Wounded Hands and Side

{Image by The Sweetest Occasion}

My husband is sharing a Thanksgiving hymn he reworked on his blog today. I love it so much, I could not help but share it here. 



 

From Jake's blog...

“Thanks to God for My Redeemer” was written by August L. Storm in 1891; I wrote a new tune for it and (along with my friend Dan on mandolin) played it for Thanksgiving weekend services a couple years ago.  

Thanks for fair and pleasant springtime
Thanks for dark and stormy fall
Thanks for tears by now forgotten
Thanks for grace, Thy sovereign call
Thanks for roses by the wayside
Thanks for thorns their stems contain
Thanks for home and thanks for fireside
Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain
 
Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure
Thanks for comfort in despair
Thanks for grace that none can measure
Thanks for love beyond compare
Thanks to God for my Redeemer
Thanks for all Thou dost provide
Thanks for blood poured out to save me
Thanks for wounded hands and side

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered
Thanks for what Thou dost deny
Thanks for storms that I have weathered
Thanks for all Thou dost supply
Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow
Thanks that Thou will all redeem
Thanks for hope in the tomorrow
Thanks through all eternity